Well, after miming how to use a shower loofa while in line at Target for at least a minute, I realized the man was asking “where” the loofas were, not “what” they were.
What did we ever do to deserve those Charmin bear commercials?
My brother packed me a lunch today.
(That’s an entire pork tenderloin and water)
I don’t think its a coincidence that Adam Levine and I are wearing the same hat to ring in 2014.
Take a hint, Behati.
Totally going to crush it in 2014
Throughout the week at work, I make calls to our vendors to place orders. Generally I’m calling the same vendors, and talking to the same people at the sales desks. Every time, they ask me if I have a PO# I’d like to put in (purchase order number) and I almost always just say “today’s date is fine” because the number doesn’t really matter. It should go without saying that I mean something like 11/20/13.
But today, I received the invoice from an order last week and saw this:
They wrote “TODAY’S DATE” as my PO. Right.
So, this might be a well known thing that I never caught on to, but a little while ago I noticed that from the profile view, the bottom of everyone’s nose/nostrils matches their top lipline. So far, without fail, this is true.
Since then, I make a point to notice it on everyone, just to repeatedly confirm my theory. If it doesn’t match, I’m going to be convinced there was plastic surgery or “enhancements” of some sort.
Is this part of the Golden Ratio or something? I feel like I’ve made a very important discovery here. Watch out Da Vinci.
Asked my bank to add a letter to their outgoing mail this morning.
Just call me Andy Dufresne.
(Driving in the car with Mom, age 8, while listening to a Sesame Street cassette)
Mom? What even iiiiis a "muppet"??
It's a cross between a puppet and a
and a mup.
I definitely thought she was singing “Dancin’ with Miley” and I just didn’t get why it was such a big controversy. Like, yeah, dancing with Miley, its a party in the USA.